mourning and escapism

were the activities on the agenda this weekend.

Mourning for others, reminiscing about others, clears up the inner eye - bringing up the 'who am I really' thoughts, what am I holding on to that I am not letting go of, who do I want to be.

In my 20s, traveling in Asia and consumed by grad school, it was much easier to grow out of teenage interests. As a late 30something with more time than money or energy, I default to the interests that I have long ago outgrown. It's easy, even tho it doesn't serve me and doesn't necessarily interest me either. And then there are interests that it is tough to muster up the energy for.

Memorial services are not really for those who've died, are they. They are a reality check for the living - an intervention, and opportunity to revise, and revamp if one chooses to use it as such. But how many do so?